This one's for me

January 07, 2017

The Lunar New Year is just round the corner and I think it's rather funny that everywhere we've been is entirely filled with chickens. Even to the very last detail of a uniquely-Malaysian special "Rooster" Krispy Kreme. They say if you can't beat them, join them.

One of the things I wanted to talk about today is allowing myself to truly be who I'm supposed to be. This includes letting things unfold as well as taking steps to assert myself.

Recently, I've been feeling unsure about where I stand in regards to my career, my relationships and my role as a human being. I feel inadequate, which is not a feeling that I'm familiar with for the past 23 years. I have always been someone with a strong sense of purpose but as I get closer to my career aspirations, the steps seem to get wobblier and this worries me.

It has made me doubt all the choices I've made in the past, including those contributing to my success today. I feel fickle and unprepared. Every physical step closer is an emotional step backwards from my destination. This has been a confusing period. I guess this is what "quarter life crisis" feels like. Who am I, and what have I achieved thus far?

The pressures of having at least 10 years of work experiences when you're only 9 years old is real. I'm 25 and I'm wondering how I've done anything to make an impact on this 7 billion-person-planet. There ought to be an age restriction when you're allowed to start worrying about self-significance. 50 years old sounds reasonable. Mid life crisis, eh?

Disclaimer: the following hypothesis is justified by my scientific mindset that has been raised through many years of biological science trainings. I think that the term "quarter life crisis" only came about because people have started living longer lives (up to a 100 years old). Bingo! Centuries ago, people lived to a ripe age of 50, and 25 was still (and always have been) the crisis point but was then known as "mid-life" crises (because what the hell was "quarter" life as that would make you 15, whut.)

I love it when I have sudden epiphanies like that. It's like a stroke of genius, without the genius. Yeah, just a stroke basically.

Genuinely and unfiltered,
Rachel W.



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