Reality calls

January 17, 2017

This week marks the last week away from my office desk. Next week, I am back to work after a long gap year. I am glad to say I took a break because the past year has been crucial in finding myself and allowing love.

When I first started my break, I felt so lost without any aim and purpose in life. My work and studies had consumed me. My pie chart of life consisted of 99% work. Recreation? That word hadn't exist in my vocabulary for as long as I can remember.

It's weird that it used to be so easy to just pick up something that I liked to do. Hobbies like writing, colouring, reading, drawing, painting, knitting, you get it.

Back in February of 2016, I was given the option to have a break from work. All I could worry about while on break was work. It's sad because whenever I had time off work I felt I should probably use the time to prepare me for future work. In other words, if I didn't use my time productively, I would worry about being lazy.

The truth is, I've forgotten what it was like to take a break. This might sound bizarre but it made me wonder what exactly is the difference between being lazy and resting.

I didn't have to use every waking our reading on work material, but I felt that I've come all this way to get this scholarship, and I've sacrificed time with my family to be here, that the only option I had was to ensure every second was maximised.

I met someone who had the exact same perspective on work while I was in the hospital. He is 30 years older than I am, and he had spent so much time focused on his career that he neglected his family and more importantly, himself. He was exhausted and felt that he had given everything to be able to support his family financially, that he couldn't give anything else more.

What about LOVE? What about TIME?

When we keep telling ourselves that we need to stretch our limits in order to satisfy people, this is where we've broken the system.

In order to care for others, one must care for themselves first. The best analogy for this is oxygen. Just like when the oxygen mask falls when the pressure drops in a plane. One must attend to themselves first before attending to others. Remember, OXYGEN.

The more you stretch yourself, the more you're suffocating. The people around you will be affected and you will further isolate yourself for afraid of being a burden to others.

Please, take care of yourself first. Your life depends on it.

This photo was taken by the Regent's Canal. I thought this piece to be unique as it seems as though life is coming up from the growing plant.

I am here genuinely,
Rachel W.

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