Life always catches up with you. Choose it.

March 18, 2017

I made a deal with myself a couple of months ago. I said that I would always make time for the things that I enjoy. This includes blogging, reading, and using my creativity. Today, I wish I could say I managed my time and energy well enough to balance between my work, study and recreation.

I have fallen behind once again and I am running to catch up with the mountainous workload. I've worked two weekends in a row now, that every other time I'm not working, I am just exhausted and frustrated.

So, I am going to set things straight and be honest with myself and the people around me. The work that I am getting is just way too much and I need more time. More time to recuperate, more time on weekends to be able to enjoy myself, and a strict boundary for when working hours are over, I'm no longer thinking about work OR CHECKING MY EMAILS.

I've got a presentation on Monday and I'm telling myself that I will do it on Monday. I do not want to spend another weekend worrying and stressing about work. When a deadline for Monday is dropped on you on a Friday, you have the right to question work ethics!

I want to spend my time on weekends loving the world and everything around me. If I'm going to spend days and days trapped with work, I'm not going to be very productive or a happy worker. I understand that it's difficult when your job is important and people have expectations of you. I used to sing about how I'll be able to manage the work life well as long as I keep doing the things I love but really, when you're so stressed about the huge workload, you can't even do anything else but stress about what is coming and what needs to be done.

I sympathise. This is a real struggle - Do we work hard now and hopefully be able to live it up later? Or you can choose to whistle while you work. The former didn't work for me. I'm enjoying life now, and I'm not spending another second missing out. Neither should you. Set your boundaries and respect them.

You, me and everyone needs respect boundaries. Don't push them just "this once". They were set at a moment where you had carefully considered them to be helpful for your wellbeing. Not even you should disrespect them. Choose to be good to yourself. It requires conscious effort.

I was being boring and a perfectionist - stressing over studying before attending a course which I would be thought basics about just because I wanted to be ahead and also worried that I knew absolutely nothing (again this was a beginner's course). I'm thankful that I had someone to bring my ass back down to earth by pouring a box of these on my head. 
Beaten & tired,
Rachel W.

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