konichiwakitty

Happy 2024! Time for reflection

January 02, 2024

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Looking forward to a heart reset

blog December 30, 2023

2023 has been a challenging year for me.

It has been a year filled with so many curve balls that I've never had to deal with in the past 30 years that I've been on this planet. I didn't feel equipped to deal with them. I'm not naive - I know these things happen - you just never know when it is going to happen to you.

On the 1st month of 2023, I returned to work after the beautiful Christmas break where we were blissfully occupied by our 12 week old fur baby. By 9pm, I was having my first meltdown of the year as I find out that my partner hasn't intentionally turned our bedroom inside out looking for something. No, three strangers were in our home and had borrowed some items whilst we were away. I mean, I was so ready to give my partner a telling off for creating such a mess but I had to call the police instead and as I explained the reality of the situation I had a panic attack. Strange men were just in my home between the intermittent hours that I was away - I like watching / reading thrillers but I have no interest in participating!

The initial few days after I lived in fear and the rest of the year I spent trying to "wash away" my trauma wounds by giving the house (a much needed makeover). My partner has kindly helped clear the mess after the forensics team left as I was too traumatised to deal with any of it.

To make matters worse, a week or so later I was hugely let down by my annual performance review by my line manager who was subsequently let go couple months after. This review left a lasting impact on me - it was upsetting mostly because I started reflecting on things that I could have changed to put me in a better position but it would also mean changing who I really am.

In between the 1st and the 12th month, I did have lots of good moments. I finally had my graduation ceremony which I had postponed due to the pandemic and as a result, had a long holiday with the family and the first real adventure with the fur child. But things did take a quick downturn again, I attended more funerals than before and grieved for my last living grandparent.

I knew by then I couldn't wait for the final month of the year, what I normally called the "weekend of the year" when we could go away to enjoy our Christmas break!

By the 12th month of the year, on the 7th of December, I was informed that I am at risk at being made redundant due to unable to meet company milestones (through no fault of my own as I had submitted a promotion with the support of my line manager). Unlike a lot of people who reacted as normal as one would to such awful news, when the news settled in me I could only laugh.

Is this it? Have I finally lost it or have I reached peak resilience? How can one really tell?

I found comfort during these difficult times in being the support others needed. I felt like I found my place giving comfort by sharing and understanding the pain of others. So much that I've had colleagues tell me that perhaps I should consider an career change because i listen to seek to understand rather than to push change.

I believe that this is a huge opportunity for me to seek to better understand myself and learn from my past mistakes and challenges. I think that it has come at the right time when it aligns with my new year resolutions and the past couple of months as my interest in coaching/mentoring/counselling has grown.

Whilst the future looks really uncertain and unnerving, I welcome the change that is coming in hopes to heal from the blemishes of the past.

Wishing you all a wonderful and blessed 2024!

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Hellooo! I'm alive!

blog March 06, 2018

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2017: Reflections

December 31, 2017

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Progamming Newbie Challenges

blog November 12, 2017

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Hello World

blog November 08, 2017

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Customized Dishware with Edding

Creativity April 29, 2017

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National Stationery Week 2017

Creativity April 27, 2017

Every year I look forward to this amazing week in April. It certainly isn't because it's the best week in Spring (the temperature fell rock bottom from a fine 20 degrees to a 3 on Monday!)

it's the best week for all stationery lovers!

To commemorate National Stationery Week which runs from the 24th to 30th of May, I decided to take the whole week off from work to simply appreciate good ole stationery.

Each day of the week represents a unique way of using your beloved stationery followed by hashtags to show off!

Monday: Pen & pencil day #penandpencilday

Tuesday: Get crafty #getcrafty

Wednesday: World Stationery day #worldstationeryday

Thursday: Thank you Thursday #thankyouthursday

Friday: Fountain pen Friday #fountainpenfriday

Saturday: Signature Saturday #signaturesaturday

Sunday: Write a letter day #writealetterday

Yes, National Stationery Week is a real thing! Are we excited yet???

For Monday, I have summoned all the energy within me to collect and put together all the pens, pencils, crayons and any other writing material scattered all over the house. I proudly present to you my pen and pencil day.

My collection of pens and pencils, not including the ones I received this week!

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On Tuesday, I wanted to do something crafty yet therapeutic, I decided to make a variation of my best selling hair jewellery: The Mermaid Crown.

This crown is made of various seashells, pearl cabochons, paper flowers and diamantes. I was most thankful for being able to share my artwork when one the people who purchased my crown told me that she was going to wear it to her wedding!

I can sit for hours completely engrossed in the tiniest details and the world around me is lost. That is the power of craft. Do you feel it too? Can you hear the fat lady sing?

I think it is so important to find the right crystal that has a brilliant shine, and the best glue that is transparent, flexible, yet holds strong even after years of wear (blablabla) producing an end product that is nothing short of excellence. Though it may take a longer time, I call it an investment.

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Without too many words, let's take a look at some really awesome stationery that were featured at the London Stationery Show 2017 on Wednesday: World Stationery Day.

Oh my. What a greeting! Hot stuff? *blushes*

The London Stationery Show is a 2-day event that gathers distributers from large well-known companies and smaller independent labels. This is an exclusive event for retailers who wish to support certain products in their UK stores. This means, that labels from all over the world gather at the Business Design Centre to show case their most creative products and compete for awards.

*Oooohs & ahhhhs*

There were 166 companies and 300 brand names. This year has been the biggest and busiest Stationery Show yet.

Amazing. Right?

Besides drooling over pretty stationery, there were also workshops organized by the various companies to showcase the use of their product (and is the best time for them to win over the hearts of retailers!)

There is so much we can do when armed with just some glue and bits of paper!

Throughout the show, I let people guess what my favourite colour was. Everyone did pretty well, I must say I'm impressed. (I was all dressed in pink)

I'll allow the photos to do their part here...

An inflatable pretzel. Everyone needs a pretzel.

For that BFF who is the sh*t and knows it.

Kaweco fountain pens and mechanical pencils *drools*

Washi tape that allows you to colour in. I know. Mindblown.

Mechanical pencils that are supplied by Serve. These come in at least 8 colours and can be found at WHSmith

Products by Vibe Squad

As you can see, the term stationery has been extended to products including lunch boxes, water bottles, lip balm, backpacks, and everything else including the inflatable pretzel. Whatever you feel is necessary for school or the office. I love it!

I totally need a pretzel for work.

If you'd like to know more about the Stationery Show, you're in for a real treat! This year, I purchased an action camera and filmed what it would be like to walk through the London Stationery Show. You'll be able to view this by the end of the week.

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On Thursday, I have decided to do a bit of hike.

I will be saying THANK YOU by visiting all the stationers in London. I have included bonus stationers whom I feel deserves a visit too!

Yes, it is exactly like a pub crawl except you substitute pubs with stationers and get drunk on stationery! Can I get a woohoo? Or at least a back massage?

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Watch this space as I will be updating as I progress throughout the week. If you like what you see, please give me a thumbs up or drop a comment on how I can improve your love for stationery.

Thank you to the London Stationery Show for organizing yet another amazing event and for inviting me for the second time.

Thanks everyone for your support and I hope you enjoyed reading my blog!

Sincerely,

Rachel W.

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Life always catches up with you. Choose it.

Everyday March 18, 2017

I made a deal with myself a couple of months ago. I said that I would always make time for the things that I enjoy. This includes blogging, reading, and using my creativity. Today, I wish I could say I managed my time and energy well enough to balance between my work, study and recreation.

I have fallen behind once again and I am running to catch up with the mountainous workload. I've worked two weekends in a row now, that every other time I'm not working, I am just exhausted and frustrated.

So, I am going to set things straight and be honest with myself and the people around me. The work that I am getting is just way too much and I need more time. More time to recuperate, more time on weekends to be able to enjoy myself, and a strict boundary for when working hours are over, I'm no longer thinking about work OR CHECKING MY EMAILS.

I've got a presentation on Monday and I'm telling myself that I will do it on Monday. I do not want to spend another weekend worrying and stressing about work. When a deadline for Monday is dropped on you on a Friday, you have the right to question work ethics!

I want to spend my time on weekends loving the world and everything around me. If I'm going to spend days and days trapped with work, I'm not going to be very productive or a happy worker. I understand that it's difficult when your job is important and people have expectations of you. I used to sing about how I'll be able to manage the work life well as long as I keep doing the things I love but really, when you're so stressed about the huge workload, you can't even do anything else but stress about what is coming and what needs to be done.

I sympathise. This is a real struggle - Do we work hard now and hopefully be able to live it up later? Or you can choose to whistle while you work. The former didn't work for me. I'm enjoying life now, and I'm not spending another second missing out. Neither should you. Set your boundaries and respect them.

You, me and everyone needs respect boundaries. Don't push them just "this once". They were set at a moment where you had carefully considered them to be helpful for your wellbeing. Not even you should disrespect them. Choose to be good to yourself. It requires conscious effort.

I was being boring and a perfectionist - stressing over studying before attending a course which I would be thought basics about just because I wanted to be ahead and also worried that I knew absolutely nothing (again this was a beginner's course). I'm thankful that I had someone to bring my ass back down to earth by pouring a box of these on my head.

Beaten & tired,
Rachel W.

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Mindfulness for Creativity

Creativity February 12, 2017

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Everyday is a new day to learn about yourself

Everyday February 01, 2017

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Reality calls

Everyday January 17, 2017

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Invitations only

Everyday January 10, 2017

Let the festivities begin!

Today's the day I officially turn 25. I always thought of it to be strange that when the new year comes around, it literally means I get an entire year older. Also, having a birthday during this time of the year isn't so fun because the best parties are all in December when everyone's just so ready to be done with the year.

December is the best time to go all out! All the savings you've collected over the year, means you can now do a little extra spending. It's the time of the year when you show that you're successful and independent by rewarding your friends and family with Christmas gifts.

January is the best time of the year to start saving and to start being a little more sober and serious. It's the 'Monday' of the months. The weekend is over - it's back to work and back to school.

Restarting my PhD is daunting especially since I've started a side craft business while I was on break. I started my business with the idea that it would hopefully motivated me to maintain a creative side. With this etsy shop, I have every reason to work on creating beautiful hair pieces and actually have physical finished products - which I must say is very fulfilling!

Since I starting learning about stem cells during my undergraduate study, I had become rather obsessed to the point where I (sadly) felt I didn't need any social activities including proper sleep and recreation. I really loved what I was doing and the more time I spent on learning about stem cells, the more I felt committed to it as I've already spent all this time working on it. It was as though everything I've worked for in my life rested upon this career path.

Which honestly is an emotional trap. It isn't true that having a social life will kill my career, nor getting the rest I need to be able to work properly. I was a machine and I admired that aspect of myself. Until I burnt out, left exhausted physically and mentally. Forced to give in, that I realised I was being foolish.

I do hope though I would continue to have this burning passion to improve lives through stem cell research but this time with more focus on myself and my needs. I mean, wouldn't it be a waste of my knowledge if I didn't take care of myself? Would be a loss to the world. ;)

Not overrated,
Rachel W.

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If you're still thinking about it, go out there and get it.

January 05, 2015

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Here's to zero one five

December 31, 2014

"Every year from now will past faster than the year before" - It has definitely felt this way since the start of 2013 for me. Time is so precious.

With every passing year, I look back and reflect - I know that I have grown, I have changed, and my mindset is different. Some years I feel like I had to put more effort trying to look for joy in simple pleasures. Other years it was easier - like they presented themselves and all you had to do was breathe. 2014 was one of those years.

This year, I feel so awake. I feel in tuned with who I am and everything that I did felt right. Like a flower in full bloom with all its glory, beaming at the beautiful sun, standing tall and reaching towards the sky. Do you know how that feels? Is this part of growing older?

Every new year is a year older for me. I'll be twenty-three in ten days. Is age just a number? Because I don't want to be 23 and still have the mindset of an 18 year old. 2015 looks intimidating. The first few months will be madness, but if I can brave through that hurricane of a workload, the fulfilment after, is bliss.

On this new year's eve, I am alone. But. I am not lonely. I am content and relaxed. I have achieved all that I have wanted and surprisingly, received a lot more too. Can someone tell me, is this all part of growing up? My parents are happy and content because they've met all their life goals - I'm definitely not even close but I'm sure i've got my foot on the right path.

I can't wait to continue this beautiful journey towards achieving my wildest dreams. I am thankful for this opportunity to work for it. In 2015, I choose to maintain these 3 simple resolutions:

Be kind

Work hard

Be humble

A very blessed 2015 to everyone.

2014 has been a tough year with a lot of misfortunes happening throughout the world. With all my heart, I hope 2015 will be a great new beginning with lots of opportunities to be grateful for. Always appreciate all that you have around you. Love the ones that love you. Remember that all is impermanent - nothing lasts forever. But with every ending, there is a new beginning, a new page to turn, a new story to write. Make each story a beautiful one. x

"Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend" - Theophrastus

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Best of Both Worlds; Medicine and Research

November 19, 2014

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Help me make this a reality.

November 01, 2014

At this very moment, I know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life and every step I have taken towards achieving my life goals has only fuelled me, and reassured my choice.

I have not always been this sure - I only found my strength, my drive and my passion in September of last year. Before this, I used to float around thinking "Yeah, I kinda liked learning about that so maybe i could live with it." Not anymore.

Since Friday, the 31st of October (coincidentally Halloween), I have not felt more enthused in my life. There is nothing I want more than to continue with stem cells and tissue engineering for the rest of my life. And I am willing to give up so much, and cross oceans to be able to do this for eternity.

I want to be a part of the team or even lead a team to transplant a perfectly recellularized organ to save a child suffering from congenital malformations. I want to help the children I see everyday at the Great Ormond Street Hospital, and give them the chance to attain full potential like the rest of us who have been so lucky.

I wish there was a simple way to express the fiery feeling in me. If you could see me talk about what I have been taught, the skills that I have gained that could change the world, and my visions, you'd see the bright flame in my soul dancing through my eyes. Those who have seen me talk about my passion would know exactly what I mean.

I want to be involved in translational research and clinical trials. I dream to see the evidence of my work improving lives. Fortunately, I am in the exact position where I am perfectly capable of fulfilling my dreams.

I am currently doing a year of research at the Paediatric Surgery Unit of the UCL Institute of Child Health. So far, I have been taught how to decellularize a mouse liver and a human treachea. I have also learnt to isolate single muscle fibres from mice which can be further broken down to obtain muscle stem cells for recellularization of a diaphragm. I am so blessed to be shown so much in such a short duration of time and I feel so humbled by this experience. Everyone I have met in scientific research has been so kind to me and has taught me so much.

For example, when I am sitting in the office waiting for a 3 hour perfusion, a PhD student approaches me and asks me if I would like to learn something while I am waiting. They have been so patient with my questions and have explained every single step along the way. All these kindness has just inspired me to want to spread my knowledge further and pass on the kindness.

The first paper that I read that got me excited on the idea of regenerative medicine and tissue engineering is the possibility of generating off-the-shelf heart valves. From that article on, I knew that it would be an absolute dream for me to eliminate immune rejections from organ transplants. To be able to create off-the-shelf organs that is accessible to anyone from any background could save so many lives. This includes congenital malformations, organ failures, organ damage due to accidents and cancer. This could change the world.

There is nothing more that I want than to be involved in making this dream a reality.

I am presently applying for PhD studentships to continue with my career in scientific research. I have had one interview thus far and despite my successful interview, the interviewer told me that I would make a great candidate but he decided to choose someone else with a first author name in a publication. Despite my relevant laboratory skills and passion, the competition is indeed tough and the lack of such a publication has deterred my chances. I want people to know that even though I may lack a certain set of skills or have not shown my knowledge sufficiently, I am willing to learn as long as you're willing to teach, and I will not disappoint.