Hello friends,

When was the last time you asked yourself,

“If money and time wasn’t a problem, what would you be doing in life instead?”

For me, I would love to dedicate my whole life to formal education. I love learning and I love attending lectures, studying, making notes and most important of all feeling like my mind is expanding. I understand now why the grown ups used to say “enjoy it now - working life is harder”.

I think there are opportunities to learn and grow through work experience, but I have always felt very rushed trying to balance between the physical and theory. I am often left feeling dissatisfied due to the holes in my knowledge that I haven’t had the time to fill before moving onto the next project.

Some goals I’d like to focus on this year is to

- be intentional; choosing to invest my energy correctly and to slow down at the same time so that I do not feel too tired to enjoy the things that matter most to me

- learn more; the past year I’ve started reading again and I found that in doing so helped me feel in control of my own growth as opposed to relying on validation from others. It also made me feel less stagnant particularly during periods when work is repetitive.

- be creative; I’ve really let this one go because work can be all so consuming.

2023 has been a challenging year for me.

Hey hey hey!
*high pitched and overenthusiastic*

I have been super "missing-in-action" since the start of 2018! I am so so busy writing up a thesis and preparing (yes studying boohoo 😭) for my MPhil examination.

I am soooo excited today because I literally just completed my MPhil/PhD project presentation and it is such a big relieve to get that out of the way - whoop! I did skip out of the lecture theatre and did a happy dance 😊

I have so many things lined for me once my thesis and exams are out of the way (I'm still writing my thesissisisisis) - includes Maker Faire UK, Dublin Hackaday Unconference and many more! I'm super super excited. Ahhhhhh. This starts from April onwards so brace yourselves!

On top of that, I also have quite a few wearable fashion tech projects lined up so this means more sparkly and lights! I'm really channeling the japanese fashion so the theme of my outfits this year will be more rainbows or known as "party kei".

I'm also looking for a part time job because I'm planning a holiday to Japan and as we all know, Japan isn't exactly a cheap place to go to, but at the same time I want to be prepared with enough finances so I don't feel stressed about being so tight when I'm there. Yes, I've started to sell like half my wardrobe! 😂I'm also looking for comfortable cheap themed hostels to stay at for the experience - I know of a "library/bookshop" hostel where you kinda live in a hidden bookshelf! So cool, right? 😱

I've been to Japan twice before (like 10 years ago???!?!) and I love the place so much. I love their food, their fashion and mostly their DISNEYLAND! 💖Definitely going back to Disneyland to eat all their cute food! Ah. I love food. 😍

I am also really hoping to be able to visit Sanrio Puroland as I absolutely adore Sanrio and Hello Kitty! Though I heard it's a little bit far out from Tokyo. If anyone has been and has a plan of action on how they got there from Tokyo, I would super duper appreciate any advice!

I am also selling some electronics so check out my tweets and keep an eye on some super cool bargains. The electronics I've selling are very likely new because I probably have a duplicate or it's no longer a part of a project I plan to do! 😉

EXCITING NEWS ++++ I have a tutorial in MAKE: Magazine print for April/May edition! GET YOURSELF A COPY (and tweet me if you know where I can get one myself lol!)

Now.... what else have I got happeningsssss?

Ah! I also want to do vlogs for Maker events ALLLL OVER THE WORLDDDD (SPONSOR ME!) and I badly need advice on starter cameras that have a good microphone and (i guess) also a good video quality. Currently using a no-brand action camera from Amazon 1080 HD - so I can basically vlog from all weathers... Just kidding! Not expecting any crazy weathers! *cue snowmageddon*☄

So beep boop🤖 more YouTube stuffs is coming up! I also have two part time jobs I've signed up for - one is remote work and the other is shopkeeping in an awesome shop (shhh i haven't had my interview wahahah *high expectations*) that is totally my vibes!🌈

I know this post is super casual - basically a long ass tweet - I  hope this text is okay? Comment or tweet if you prefer a more planned out formal-ish blog post or does this feel warmer? Tell me! Advice! Constructively criticise! Let's go!

These KIRA KIRA BEARS are featured in Make: Magazine and you can learn how to make your own light up electronic resin pieces in the tutorial!

Hello, people! Every end of the year, I think about my resolutions for the following year. Most times, by February or March, I'd be so lost with the pace of the everything that there is a good chance I'd forget what I had set out and by June I'd have completely forgotten that "resolutions" even exist in my vocabulary!

I remember that at the end of 2015, I felt really terrified and afraid of what 2016 would bring. The reason being, I had a very emotional and rough 2015. During that time, I really missed home and I was on the verge of giving everything up to go home and just feel safe with my family.

This was followed by my diagnosis of severe depression and anxiety on 1st of February 2016! The reason I remember the date so vividly was because my mother had flown from Malaysia and missed Chinese New Year to be with me in the hospital. Chinese New Year was on 1st of February in 2016. My mum brought my favourite Chinese New Year cookies: pineapple tarts.

I started 2017 like a baby learning to walk. I was very shaky on my feet as I was still struggling with depression and anxiety. With every step I took, I gained confidence and I am happy to say that I have recently learned to skip as I walk. This means, I've shown progress and have been stable on my antidepressants long enough that I was ready to have them reduced.

At the same time, my therapist was happy to let go of my hand and allow me to venture the world on my own. I've completed two years of therapy and am ready to live this world with the skills and awareness I've learned.

With everything that's happened, I feel it's very important for me to reflect on the past year (or more) so that I am aware of triggers, assess the reactions I've had and shown appreciation for the tough moments I survived. Therefore, below will be my proud list of achievements accompanied by a thankful list and the things I want vs need that would guide me towards 2018!

I hope that this would inspire you to reflect on your past year and hopefully help you shape a 2018 full of joy, happiness, good health and positivity.

2017 Achievements

• restarted my PhD after a year long break for mental health
• completed ONE YEAR of my PhD (I thought I wouldn't be able to due to health reasons)
• learned a lot about myself from 2 years of therapy. Completed therapy in good health.
• been stable (no depressive episodes or hypomania) for 1 year on mood stabilizers. Psychiatrist agrees to reduce dosage of medication.
• in April, I got to know of the Raspberry Pi community and met a lot of great people since and more!
• in June, I found the confidence to move out and live on my own. Best decision that made my lifestyle better.
• met someone I like without using a dating app. So happy that we met through a common interest.
• received support morally and financially to continue my enjoyment in teaching/showing more children they can do so much and more.
• managed to balance my time between work and play by setting and following strict boundaries while understanding and listening to my needs.
• realising that human interaction is a need. Inefficient but necessary. The most memorable and important events are shaped around the environment I am in, which is influenced by the people around me.
• I feel like I belong.
• helping others with their mental health and talking openly about it.

2017 Thankful List

Wishing you and your loved ones a splendid 2018!

On my way home from spending all my monies today, I had an idea that would require some sort of programming skill.

The way I have self-taught certain programming languages such as HTML, CSS, python (basic!) is through searching for elements that I have in mind. For example, I learnt how to design webpages by taking apart HTML codes and reconfiguring every element until I am fully satisfied.

Funnily, (I just realised as I am writing this) this is similar to tissue engineering which involves taking apart an organ till its exoskeleton/scaffold is left and then seed it with patient's cells!

Well, this is how I have grown with HTML since I was a young skinny teenager.

I am trying to learn python and C using the same methods but these languages are definitely harder than I had anticipated. I've attended a full week intensive course provided by my university but only learnt the very basics in terms of data processing for scientific research.

So, I am back to googling exactly my idea and looking for an exoskeleton to hack.

Sadly, it is difficult. Often, I don't even know the correct terminology so searching is already a challenge on its own. Deciphering the language is another challenge. Times like this I wish I worked in a company where if I needed to bring an idea to life with programming, I could just poke a neighbour.

"Hey, buddy! Froyo is on me. Help me out with this."

Electronics and hardware require learning from the basics too. (I'll admit I shamefully googled "which pin on circuit playground for LEDs" - FYI, google took me to the adafruit page on Circuit Playground 101 where I had to learn about PWM)

Well, looks like I have way too many books to read (on top of my research papers)!

Okay, time for some dark chocolate to calm me down before bed. Toodles!

I don't know why I never thought of creating a webpage for @konichiwakitty! I have been prompted to do so simply because I've had several people ask me for a portfolio of my wearable fashion tech projects.

I still think Twitter is the best place to share due to the ease of uploading any videos or pics of my current project and also to get immediate response/feedback!

From now onwards, this page will be the perfect platform to have all my projects ready to view!

Hello! Today I'm going to talk about a little art project I finished last night - I'm super excited!

Edding porcelain brushpens in 3 different shades. I purchased the white mugs from Poundworld - they are dishwasher and microwave friendly ;)

Yes, I obsessively glued myself to the project for 3 hours and completely forgot about dinner. My therapist would highly disapprove (I can imagine the old turkish lady wagging her finger and shaking her head at me).

I received 3 sets of the new Edding 4200 Porcelain Brushpens and had so much fun drawing on ceramic mugs. Evidence below:

Total of 18 pens from 3 different shades. There were some repeats in colour.

It's difficult to find the right type of paint for yellow as the pigment rarely stays opaque on non-porous surfaces. I was super happy that the edding porcelain markers allow layering.

Once the first layer that you've drawn on dries, simply draw on another layer and this increases the pigment of the colour, making it more opaque!

As you can see (ignore the reflection!) the yellow pigment comes out really dark on both the letters and Pacman.

A Pacman-inspired mug. I added a few twists like eyebrows and a bow!

Eeep! Someone's gonna get eaten!

When using two colours side by side, always draw the lighter colour first followed by the darker colour. Should you wish to overlap the lighter colour over the dark, simply apply pressure to the brush and sweep the layer of darker pigment. This essentially scrapes the darker shade.

Everybody loves rainbows! The Pacman crosses under the mug handle. Whee

Done! All good to go into the oven.

If your brush is getting stained by another colour, simply scribble onto a piece of paper until you see the original colour remaining.

To clean any mistakes, I used antiseptic wipes from Boots. These wipes should be easy to find in any drugstore. The reason I used antiseptic wipes is because it contains alcohol which easily cleans permanent markers. Make up removing wipes may have the same effect though I've not tried it!

After carefully drawing, I allowed the ink to dry and drew on top of the first layer. Allowed it to dry again for about 15 minutes, and then popped it into the oven at 160 degrees for 25 minutes. I left the mug to cool overnight in the oven.

It's hot in here! But not too hot, only 160 degrees!

If any of the ink comes in contact with your skin, it washes off incredibly easy with just some hand soap and water. No scrubbing necessary.

I will be posting this mug as a gift and have requested that the mug be used for non-consuming purposes as I have applied ink to areas where normal usage of a mug would mean contact with the mouth - just to be safe!



To test out its dishwashing ability, I will be drawing on another mug which I will use for hot drinks. Stay tuned!


Stay colourful,
Rachel W.

Every year I look forward to this amazing week in April. It certainly isn't because it's the best week in Spring (the temperature fell rock bottom from a fine 20 degrees to a 3 on Monday!)

it's the best week for all stationery lovers!

Monday: Pen & pencil day #penandpencilday

Tuesday: Get crafty #getcrafty

Wednesday: World Stationery day #worldstationeryday

Thursday: Thank you Thursday #thankyouthursday

Friday: Fountain pen Friday #fountainpenfriday

Saturday: Signature Saturday #signaturesaturday

Sunday: Write a letter day #writealetterday

This crown is made of various seashells, pearl cabochons, paper flowers and diamantes. I was most thankful for being able to share my artwork when one the people who purchased my crown told me that she was going to wear it to her wedding!

Oh my. What a greeting! Hot stuff? *blushes*

There were 166 companies and 300 brand names. This year has been the biggest and busiest Stationery Show yet.

There is so much we can do when armed with just some glue and bits of paper!

Throughout the show, I let people guess what my favourite colour was. Everyone did pretty well, I must say I'm impressed. (I was all dressed in pink)

An inflatable pretzel. Everyone needs a pretzel.

For that BFF who is the sh*t and knows it.

Kaweco fountain pens and mechanical pencils *drools*

Washi tape that allows you to colour in. I know. Mindblown.

Mechanical pencils that are supplied by Serve. These come in at least 8 colours and can be found at WHSmith

Products by Vibe Squad

I made a deal with myself a couple of months ago. I said that I would always make time for the things that I enjoy. This includes blogging, reading, and using my creativity. Today, I wish I could say I managed my time and energy well enough to balance between my work, study and recreation.

I have fallen behind once again and I am running to catch up with the mountainous workload. I've worked two weekends in a row now, that every other time I'm not working, I am just exhausted and frustrated.

So, I am going to set things straight and be honest with myself and the people around me. The work that I am getting is just way too much and I need more time. More time to recuperate, more time on weekends to be able to enjoy myself, and a strict boundary for when working hours are over, I'm no longer thinking about work OR CHECKING MY EMAILS.

I've got a presentation on Monday and I'm telling myself that I will do it on Monday. I do not want to spend another weekend worrying and stressing about work. When a deadline for Monday is dropped on you on a Friday, you have the right to question work ethics!

I want to spend my time on weekends loving the world and everything around me. If I'm going to spend days and days trapped with work, I'm not going to be very productive or a happy worker. I understand that it's difficult when your job is important and people have expectations of you. I used to sing about how I'll be able to manage the work life well as long as I keep doing the things I love but really, when you're so stressed about the huge workload, you can't even do anything else but stress about what is coming and what needs to be done.

I sympathise. This is a real struggle - Do we work hard now and hopefully be able to live it up later? Or you can choose to whistle while you work. The former didn't work for me. I'm enjoying life now, and I'm not spending another second missing out. Neither should you. Set your boundaries and respect them.

You, me and everyone needs respect boundaries. Don't push them just "this once". They were set at a moment where you had carefully considered them to be helpful for your wellbeing. Not even you should disrespect them. Choose to be good to yourself. It requires conscious effort.

I was being boring and a perfectionist - stressing over studying before attending a course which I would be thought basics about just because I wanted to be ahead and also worried that I knew absolutely nothing (again this was a beginner's course). I'm thankful that I had someone to bring my ass back down to earth by pouring a box of these on my head.

Beaten & tired,
Rachel W.

How often do you allow your creative side to take you on an unexpected journey?

The past year, I used my time away from work to let my creativity roam. Initially, I felt so lost and confused when I was given time off work. I just didn't know what to do with myself or knew myself enough to know what my hobbies are anymore. I remember loving books. I loved reading when I was child, but it has been ages since I've had the time (rather made the time) to read a decent book or article that did not revolve around my career.

So, I started off my year long hiatus with reading. I had plenty of time and I spent it at bookshops or on Amazon. I ended up reading a lot of books on mindfulness and meditation. In fact, I diligently read so much about anxiety and depression that I felt I could write a review with excellent references (coincidentally, my depression came during the time when books on mental health and mindfulness was a fad). In a couple of months, I had read more than 10 recreational books. This was more than any amount of books I had touched in years.

It was a great sense of accomplishment. Until I realised, yet again I made this into a silly competition on achieving. I turned this recreational activity into a 'How can I use this to succeed?". Yes, it did occur to me to use this time to write a memoir on my time spent with the black dog. After all, books on self-improvement were flying off shelves at the time!

Anyway, this meant I had to move on to the next "relaxing" activity.

I went on to learn about paper crafting and card-making. I bought a Cuttlebug. I told myself I needed it so I can do fancy die cuts and embossing - taking my paper crafts to another level. It was a lot of fun. I had a solid couple of months just making beautiful paper crafts to put into my Kikki K planner. Though after a while, I couldn't keep up with all the paper accumulating and I just didn't know what to do with them! What do people do with the crafts that they've made?

So, I moved on yet again to another activity. I started making my own hair accessories; hair bows, brooches, headbands, crowns. I loved it. Jewellery making could definitely be my IT thing. Though I still didn't know what to do with all my end products. This is when I started opening my Etsy shop and decided to learn a bit about running my own business.

Because I work full time as PhD student, I figured that this is the best way to motivate or remind me to keep my creative juices going by having this shop. With this shop, I've got no pressure of earning from it, and I also get to share my creative work with people who like or choose to purchase my products.

Finding the right creative activity is in so many ways beneficial to one's mental health. I cannot emphasise this enough! Personally, I always feel more rejuvenated after creating something despite the hours or energy it took me. It makes me feel ready to take on the realistic side of things. Whenever someone tells me that they're not feeling great, I say, "Why not do something you love?".

When we talk about creativity, I'm sure lots of people think that they've tried their hand at this or that and you never really stuck around. I say, "Be mindful while being creative". This means that we allow ourselves to fully immerse in the activity that we're doing. No other distractions, or wandering thoughts about work. Just one activity, one mindset. Learn to switch that working mind off after working hours! I'm sure we're all guilty of letting work take on more hours of our lives than it needs to!

Often, we feel obliged to do certain activities just because we think we should. When enjoyable activities become things that we should do, it adds pressure and really takes away the joy of doing it. Without much consideration, we also put a lot of pressure on how the things we do should make us feel. For example, we expect music or TV shows to lift our mood. When it doesn't, the expectation just makes us feel more deprived of what we need.

This is why we need to be carefully mindful. I insist on being careful because special attention needs to given towards what we're focusing on. Being mindful doesn't mean you harshly shut down everything else. Rather, we focus on the current thing. We give it careful and kind attention. We don't question, we observe. When we don't feel one way, we don't ask, "Why?", instead we recognise what we're feeling and be okay with that. We accept, we observe, and we let the feeling pass.

No pressure, and no obligations to feel a certain way. This is how we learn to sit with ourselves, and eventually accept that we feel everything all at once and none at all because we're only human.

One of the greatest feelings I get with doing what I want is doing it at my own leisure. I feel free! No obligations, no where to be, no time limits, no one I need to see, I can be in sweats all day, whenever I want to take a break, I just do. If I feel that I would like to suddenly break into song, I am free to do it! The experience of being free is so monumental to our soul. In that moment, it's all about you. Absolutely nothing about what goes on outside those doors. You can take up all the space!

Just. truly. you.

Now that I am back at work, I intentionally make time to do something creative at least once a week. I let my mind pick an activity, I shop for materials and get excited about it - a great way to look forward to time after work or on a weekend!

This is one of my Mermaid Crowns that I've made and is currently on sale on my Etsy. It took me hours to carefully select and place each pearl and crystal. Though tiring, every minute was worth it and the result was satisfying.

Cheerfully,
Rachel W.

It has been exactly a week from the first day I went back to work.

Today, despite not completing a full day of 9 to 5, I am absolutely wrecked. I had MATLAB classes from 1 to 5, attended group therapy from 6 to 730 and finally dinner with a friend till 10. If you didn't already know, you could be sat in a chair all day but have a 100% focus on a brain-taxing task for 2 hours, and I assure you, you will be wrecked to the floor! Today, that is me. I am total wreckage.

I haven't attended group therapy in a long while (perhaps for 6 months). At group therapies, we take turns to talk about our problems at the start of the session. This is known as "Checking in". It's exactly like the Facebook home page, 'What's on your mind?'

It's funny how our day-to-day conversations have moved on from 'conversations' to 'web chats' and posting statuses addressed vaguely to anyone who is out there on your "friends" list. Deep down in our core, we need deeper connections. We need someone to ask us what's on our mind, so that we can communicate and more importantly, connect. When we write our thoughts as an online status, we end up doubting and questioning ourselves. More than often, when I post something online, I think who is going to be looking at it, and do people really care?

I want someone to ask me. To approach and genuinely show me that they want to know. Then on, I can comfortably be assured that the person I telling my story to isn't judging me silently from afar and I'm not exposing myself to the world. I am simply building a connection and a level of trust with this person. These are crucial human needs that separates us from every other living being.

Just like every person posting about Trump at this time of the year, my patience has thinned out to repetitive issues that pop up during group therapy. Group therapy can feel repetitive after you've attended a certain amount of therapy sessions with a group of 6 or more people (whom the people in the group often switch). It is helpful because it brings us to realise that we're all basically the same, but it is repetitive because we are all essentially the same.

We have the same relationship problems, self-esteem issues, confusion between where you are now and where you want to be. We undergo the same problems even at different ages. We all fear something. And the best way to learn is to help each other through methods that have worked. The answer to every problem is a formula. It is theoretical and it is almost always structured the same way. The most difficult part in applying a practical approach is that our emotional portion gets the better of us.

Everyone thinks they know better. The truth is, ideally we should learn from the mistakes of others. Now, the quote 'learning from others' must've stemmed from somewhere because people make the same mistakes! This is why we've all come down to this very point again - it is important to talk to one another about our problems.

Group therapy is basically a community of people having gathered together because some person with a medical/psychological degree realised - we all now severely need an excuse to gather and meet and have a reason to talk about ourselves.

So, let us gather and talk because we're the only beings with emotional intelligence.

Our brains can do wonders if we allow it. Anxiety and depression limits the potential of our brain narrowing our thoughts. We just need to give our brain a much needed break and be very kind with it. It's adapting and doing the best it can with what it has right now. (Image source: http://everybodyhasabrain.tumblr.com/)

Genuinely,
Rachel W.

P.S. I'd love to hear if anyone reading this has felt the same way or feel they can relate to what I talk about. Just leave me a comment if you'd like to just say hi or add to the discussion. Let's keep this going!